What does it mean that success is a dangerous as failure?
Whether you go up the ladder or down it,
you position is shaky.
When you stand with your two feet on the ground,
you will always keep your balance.
Tao te Ching
We thought Charlie might be getting laid off today.
Which isn’t actually quirky or funny at all, on any level. Nor did Charlie react in any way that one might consider quirky. He very calmly waited until the announced time came and went and then discovered he had survived (many hadn’t). Then he resumed his work. He even worked a little later than usual.
As I was cooking, he called out “Hey! I know what you can write your next blog about!!” I waited, cringing at what he might suggest. I’ve heard some of Charlie’s suggestions on things before. Not just blogs, but books I should write, products I should invent, and new hobbies I should acquire. Let’s just say we have different definitions of “interesting.”
“It’s a matter of international significance!” he yelled, as he went into the bathroom and shut the door.
This is pretty typical. He likes to lead with a “teaser” whenever he talks and then disappear. I think he learned it from watching the 6 o’clock news back in the day. “Ahead… how wearing suspenders can KILL YOU…” (commercial).
Sometimes he disappears so long he forgot what he was teasing, and then looks at me like I grew a third eye when I ask him about it. By then I’m practically frothing at the mouth to learn about the deadly suspender epidemic, but I will eternally remain ignorant. And he has no idea what I’m talking about.
This, too, is familiar.
Fortunately, this time I didn’t have to wait so long.
“OK, what internationally significant thing should I write about today, Charlie?”
“I almost got laid off today!” he said, practically smiling.
I frowned.
“Um, honey, that’s not really that funny. Maybe if you had reacted in some quirky way…?”
“I did!” he insisted.
He really didn’t. In fact he was way more mature and calm than I was. My reaction involved an Ativan and watching a few horror movies while waiting for the fateful meeting to take place, because bloodletting and demon-posession is very mollifying for me. No, really. It is. It makes sense in my own head. Shut up.
“You did?” I asked.
“You can tell them how I reacted by remembering about how that one time I got laid off twice in one day! That’s kind of a funny story!”
Oh, god, no it was not a funny story. It was a horrific, life altering story. Not funny.
What this remind me of, however, was the time when we were getting ready to buy this house, and he suggested that I would have an EXTREME amount fun if I would go get my real estate license, then study the history of global macroeconomics, then read the books, blogs, and personal diary entries of every real estate investment expert across the continental united states, then create my own website tracking real estate price movement within a 50 mile region over the last couple of decades. When I suggested that didn’t sound like a lot of fun, he got a little pissy, and made sure I understood that my idea of fun was clearly broken. And stupid. And resistant to fun-ness of any kind. Because if he were in my shoes that would be the most fun thing he could possibly imagine doing.
I think he was mad at me about that one for weeks.
So in the interest of not being resistant to fun (and don’t forget being internationally significant), I wrote this entry.
Charlie still has a job, thank Zeus. And we survive.
Up the Tao Staircase 